Childlike, Love

Love your childlike self, and your neighbor

I’ve heard it said a number of times – to “love your neighbor as yourself” you must first love yourself.  I’ve often struggled with this idea of loving myself in a way that doesn’t feel conceited or egotistical.  The other day when I was pondering this, a new way of looking at it came to me…

When I was a little kid, my family and friends called me Kimi (well, they all spelled it differently at the time – some Kimmy, others Kimmie – but I like this spelling so I’m going to stick to it). 

I’ve recently been helping out a family friend who knew me when I was little and apparently refers to me as Kimi to her friends that I’ve also been helping , are so now they are all calling me Kimi… and it got me thinking about my childhood self… little Kimi Hedge.

What if I thought about just loving little Kimi… the little kid that was pretty smart (though really had to work at the good grades sometimes), athletic, good at art… and yet really awkward at times.  She was never one of the popular or cool kids … and spent years vacillating between wanting to be like everyone else and fit in, and then wanting not to be like everyone else and stand out.  I thought about how this kid loved summer camp and was full of life there, and wanted everyone else to love it just as much.  This kid was daring and brave and creative… and klutzy… and often had terrible haircuts.  

I just started to love this little kid in all her adorableness and awkwardness (and great outfits) and all the rest.  And I began to see her as God sees each one of us – as Her beloved child… innocent, joyful, free… and to love her just as God loves her.  

Well then I decided maybe it’s not bad to be called Kimi again… to remind me of that great, awkward, funny little kid… and to embrace my natural childlikeness even now… my innocence, purity, childlike joy and freedom.  

And then, when I go to love my neighbor as myself… I can love the little child they were and truly still are… the child of God.  And I can apply this even to people I don’t agree with or have much in common with… because we were all innocent little kids once.  And we are all God’s children – always.  So how can you see yourself and others as God’s child and love them as yourself?

Conquering fear, healing, joy

Complete freedom and joy!!

Last year, while serving at a summer camp I had a wonderful experience overcoming the fear of heights on a zip-line.  (You can read about it in an article in the Christian Science Monitor here) Before publishing an article about this demonstration, the editor had asked if I thought this was a complete healing of my fear of heights, or if we should just leave it with this particular incident. At the time, I felt more comfortable just leaving it about that particular situation, but this left me feeling a a bit sheepish.  And part of me felt like maybe I needed to test it out to know whether or not I was truly completely healed.  I knew this wasn’t exactly how healing works, but I dismissed the thought a moved on.  

When the article was about to be published, I was asked to do an audio recording of the article.  In doing so, I reread the article several times to practice.  I was struck by the power of the truths that I had worked with at the time about the ever-presence of God, Love and how that love eliminates all fear.  It made me realize that I never needed to be afraid of being separate from Love or outside of Love’s care.  Could I ever be too high up for God to reach me?  That seemed ridiculous.  

At the time I recorded the audio piece, I was actually in Japan and the next day I had the opportunity to visit the Tokyo Skytree with my friend and her kids.  One of the landings was 350 meters high and there were places were you could lean out on an angle and look down at the sprawling city below, as well as a part of the floor that was made of glass so that you could walk over it and see the buildings underneath.  The kids and I did both of these things and I didn’t ever feel a twinge of fear.  I thought about the ideas that I had worked with on that zip-line and knew that they were true for me then and there as well!  We also ventured to the top platform at 450 meters, which give us an even more expansive view of the city, which was a beautiful sight. 

Then a this summer, I had the opportunity to go zip-lining in Costa Rica with a group of high school students on a service trip.  This zip-line was much longer and higher than the one the previous summer, and consisted of 12-15 lines that passed across a valley, over a river and through a rainforest canopy.  I was overjoyed at the freedom and sheer child-like joy I was able to experience and express in doing this activity.  I was even able to share ideas with a couple of kids that were a bit nervous about it and they too had a great time.  I was completely free from fear and embraced every moment of the experience. I am so very grateful for the opportunity to feel the presence and power of Divine Love that truly “casts out fear” as the Bible states in 1 John (4:18).

Also, as a fun side note – I watched the entire Free Solo movie, mentioned in the article – and really, really enjoyed it!!!